Transitioning in the UK

There isn't a diagnoses for transsexualism, and just being diagnosed with gender dysphoria doesn't mean you will get a "sex change" on the NHS. This is a misconception, it is not a disease, no one can know for sure if you are Trans BUT YOU. Even through the NHS gender identity clinic they do not really make a definite diagnoses. Its more like they try and rule out any other mental problems that might cause or contribute to the dysphoria, so they can sort them out first.. and then sort of diagnose you using out-dated protocol that they say they don't even use anymore.(i.e primary, secondary transsexualism)

But the fact is if you want to live as a man, they don't wanna make it easy.. you have to jump through a few hoops.

There are many pathways to medically transitioning and you might decide you don't want any of them and live as male or as genderqueer or as female/ masculine.. so this isn't THE way to move forward, but just SOME medical ways to transition.. here goes...

Semi-Private (£££): If you are having trouble getting a GP you could go to a private gender specialist GP such as Richard Curtis, or you could go to a private psychiatrist to get referred to the NHS quicker than finding a GP and going on waiting list for physchiatrist. This might save some time and also might mean you get better care. Cost about £200-£400.. this is JUST to get an appointment at the GIC, but is possible to get hormones this way but I wouldn't recommend doing that yet.

PRIVATE (££££££££): You can also go the whole way privately, it will cost you, but is a LOT faster and if you have a steady income, like a skilled trade, it is affordable. for example going abroad for surgery, going to richard curtis, getting hormones.. altogether might only cost between 3-6 thousand. So it might be worth getting a good job, or study for trade before you do this.

NHS (FREE!!!): Your GP HAS to refer you to a psychiatrist if you feel you need one for gender dysphoria, either change the GP or go to a community advocacy group to right a legal letter to her-him, such as 'Mind', Citizens Advice B, or PACE (LGBT advocacy group email:, they will help you with any health advocacy you need. In fact I would DEFINATELY advice getting some advocacy support ANYWAY, as the GIC and NHS and docters and everyone all down the track are inclined to delay and fuck around, even on a good day. These community advocacy guys are here to help, there are probably more than I mention here, but I know that PACE and MIND are great at this stuff, they will help.

Then you get an appointment! yippeee... HOPEfully in LESS than a year (for me it took 3 years to get my first appointment boohoo)... if you have advocacy support it will go faster. At the Appoint, they will ask you loads of questions about your family, history, mental health, gender as a child, sexuality, favorite sexual position, orgasms,penetration, girlfriends, boyfriends... EVERYTHING.. and it is NOT confidential, well they won't tell the world, but any medical professional will be able to know it all, even how you have sex (if you tell them).. they will pass it on to your GP and it will be on your permanant record. (I didn't know this and was outraged when I found out).

So remember what ever you tell your GIC it has to align with what your GP knows already, so if you have a mental health history and/or live on the streets, but you tell the GIC your totally healthy and have secure housing/job because you want to PASS as a normal male, it will look really bad... coz they WILL compare notes. But there is nothing wrong with being yourself, but there is also nothing wrong with lying to get what you want. For example, things they don't like.. bisexuality, homosexuality.. they prefer it if your hetrosexual, as in you are attracted to women, cause they still use terms such as primary transsexual and secondary.. bisexuality is a "symptom" of SECONDARY transsexualism..which is absolute BullS**T, sexuality and gender are not the same!!. They prefer you not to talk about anything like genderqueer, or queer anything. They prefer that you don't have a history of mental issues such as personality disorder, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder etc.. because this might mean your "so crazy you want to change gender".. yeah coz thats what happens when your crazy you think.. "I know, what I want to do is to see even MORE docters and take even MORE medicine! yay!" (sarcasm).

If you have a history of serious mental problems, it might be worth seriously saving for private treatment.

Ps. Ok there is many problems with all of these processes, sometimes the pathologization, or "protocol" they use to define you as transgendered, can make you believe things about yourself that are not true, like a certain typical trans life-story that I find repeated everywhere, which I am a bit skeptical of. For example "I ALWAYS knew I was a boy because...[add stereotype here]".. What makes you who you are is unique and possibly very different from other people.. don't let those stereotypes define who you are, no matter what garbage or truth you tell the docters. Also don't let your personality define your new "SEX" or gender or visa versa.. you can be masculine and be female and be happy, or you can be feminine and male and be happy, being transsexual is more about feeling your BODY doesn't fit and so you need to change it, not that you used to like playing with trucks and wearing boys clothes so your a boy.

TIPS. Read loads of books, GOOGLE a LOT, watch loads of films, write a lot in a diary. Look on youtube. Think about the person you want to be and what they might look like, feel like and go from there. connect with yourself and your body.. meditate, join the gym, get counseling, look in the mirror naked more often, moisturize, do what ever you can to learn about yourself before you make such big decisions.

SEX as a transguy

Ok I read quite a few things from transguys who have trouble with sex. So I thought I might be able to share something that might help. A lot of guys might already do stuff like this, but I guess some might not have even thought of it so might as well put it out there.

Ok so I have been very sexually active my whole life, even when I was a kid I played around a bit. So my sexuality has really changed and developed a lot. I know this isn't the same for all transguys.. but a bit of background might explain something. When I was a kid I masterbated with phallic objects and pretended they were my cock, like holding them between my legs. before that I used to imagine all sorts of weird shit only children can really eroticise.. (I even masturbated with my guitar) and eventually I orgasmed for the first time, it was like "being" a boy with a cock totally pushed a button for me and since then that has been what has worked, but it had developed.

Since then I have had loads of kinds of sex, I was a straight/bi curious girl for a while in early teens (its what one did) it didn't work out for me. Dyke for a while, also didn't really work for me. The first time I had an orgasm with someone else was when I masturbated with a dildo under the blanket as my cock (i was embarrassed) next to someone else (coz they asked me to). Then it got easier after that to orgasm with someone else, I started to orgasm from having it [the dildo] sucked while also kind of *pressing* it hard against my junk.. the visual image of someone sucking MY realistic cock [dildo], while holding it against my'self' really did it for me, it was amazing, and a revelation (the other person LOVED it too). Then gradually over the years I started to try it while having other types of intercourse. and after taking T its got even better.

Now I have a cheap realistic cyberskin cock (£21), I have made a very small incision in the back which I fill with lubricant before I do anything.. then when i press it down, my little cock goes inside and it feels like my cock is penetrating the person I am with.. which is really good. and as its cyberskin... its feels kind of like a fleshlight for ftm's, quite *real*, like flesh.. coupled with seeing it go into someone at the same time, their reaction, is just brilliant!... Infact I always have orgasm when I have sex with my girlfriend now.. its better when she is on top, because then I can concentrate more (it is still very psychological too) and hold the cock down.. but I can still do it when active. I never use a harness, this just reminds me that my cocks *attached artificially* because of the straps on my skin and such.. for some reason holding/pressing the cock against me feels less like this because I can kind of pretend I'm like playing with my balls or "helping" myself like a lot of cis guys do anyway.

Also with the little guy (T cock, clit), well thats way better too.. its much bigger, and coz my girlfriend is such a fearless pro, keeps trying.. she has found a way to touch it that feels like its ten times bigger (which is the first time I have ever got off that way.. I mean I NEVER even touch it myself directly, so its impressive) , I think its partly because she takes off her clothes and gives me a lot to look at while she does it, which helps a lot! :))

realistic cocks, cyberskin, vixiskin, modifications (to the cocks). Lots of LUBE on your little cock whatever your doing. Get rid of the harness, use your hand and boxers/jock for support instead. Role play. Pumping can make stuff feel really good... also a good blowjob followed by handjob is great if you can't pump. PORNOGRAPHY, imagine yourself as the guys you see in porn, or guys you see in the street, guys you admire, role play with it.. watch porn during sex can really help you to relax and not think too much about your "real" body. Vibrating cock rings on your prosthetic..good! top rating.
A really slutty and open-minded girlfriend or boyfriend!.. they are out there I promise.

Also just KEEP TRYING... my sexuality just keeps evolving, what I like this month might be different nixt month.. if it dont work try something else.

PLUS.. its totally manly to enjoy your vagina or anus, IF you can. I'm sure if a cis man had a vagina he'd use it too! But it just depends what feels good for you. Personally I think my vagina grew over a couple of years ago.. but who knows maybe it could be coaxed back to life again in the future or maybe not, maybe I'll have it removed maybe not, maybe I'll be like buck angel and just embrace it, or maybe I will just embrace prosthetic's even more.

Also the most important thing to remember is use your imagination! you have to take an imaginative LEAP sometimes.. a friend of mine in the countryside used to masterbate with an giant eggplant and imagine it was a cock.. if he can jump that far imaginatively, then imagining a prosthetic cock is real or that a small T cock is big is not far to jump AT ALL!

CHEST SURGERY AFTERCARE - Alternative guide - E-Zine

[2 days ago I posted this article and I had a lot of feedback and critism which I am now taking on board. So I have changed some things in my post. I do not want to go into a political discussion here about Herbal medicine Vs Phamasuticals. So I will just make some alterations.]

I had surgery one month ago. I developed huge hematomas and infections under my left nipple. Since then I have done extensive research and decided to use alternative medicine to heal. The results have been remarkable and so I am writing an alternative to usual guide to caring after chest surgery based lessons I have learned from my individual experience and also from accredited research sources. Read further if you are interested in alternative health or pharmaceuticals are not working for you. Collapse )


PAGE 1 - What happens AFTER SURGERY

    After surgery

You will most likely be dozy from anesthetic, you might feel nauseous. The nurses will give you anything you need, they may give you some water to gently sip, if this goes down ok for while they may give you some soup or something.

They will administer anti-biotics and painkillers, there are some issues about anti-biotics you should take note of before you take them (please see points on next page for more info), bare in mind you dont have to take anything you don't want to. Your chest will be wrapped up tightly and you will have blood drains coming out of you (tubes with bottles of blood at the end) this is to drain all the excess blood (there is a really good reason for this).

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  • Binder : for the first week especially after surgery you need to constantly wear a compression vest/binder, even when you sleep. This is what my surgeon and most surgeons recommend. I did some research and there is really good reason for this, when there is incisions made blood vessels are broken which causes bleeding, this does not stop after surgery which is why the drains are used so the blood doesn’t accumulate and form hematoma’s, when the drains are removed there may be still some bleeding as all you blood vessels may not have sealed off yet, this is why they advice you where a compression vest so it prevents hemorrhaging in the wound when there is nowhere for it to drain away. So if you can, get a nice and tight one before you go to surgery, the one I got from surgeon was not very tight, I wish I had a tighter one. You will have to wear one for 2 weeks really, but especially the first week, and tight (unless it really hurts, then loosen slightly).
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PAGE 3 - AFTER CARE - (visiting herbalist)

    Visiting herbalist
  • Pay a visit to a qualified CHINESE HERBALIST or NATURAPATH for treatment, it will help you heal and prevent problems occurring. Tell them your your whole story, you have had surgery, your on testosterone, tell them about anything about yourself that is going on even your mood, you got buggers lol whatever! tell them you want something that prevents 'Blood stasis' ...or ‘blood accumulation’ and 'clears all your channels’, they should (make sure they do) check your pulse, look at your face and your tongue and then they will prescribe something that fits all these things.

    IMPORTANT NOTE: PLEASE check my list of sources on the next page to find QUALIFIED practitioners, its the safest way to get treated

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  • chest


    FTM SRS - The Thailand Story so far

    Ok so booking surgery in Thailand has been a bit of a nightmare. I wouldn't recommend it, but I wouldn't tell someone not to do it either.

    Talk about communication breakdown!
    The problem is if your not Thai and if you get FTM SRS surgery in Thailand you have to face the fact that, as well as some language issues, its also a big money making industry over there, it doesn't mean Thai surgeons are not great surgeons, they supposedly some of the best surgeons in the world, but it does mean that its hard to always trust all of their advice and judgment over this feeling of being 'sold' something, there is also a lot of competition so it makes this selling more fierce, coz at the end of the day they would rather you have surgery with them than someone else even if someone else would suit your body type more. Not that this is different with private western surgeons, but information is more available about them so you can make the decision more independently.

    It would be easier if more FTM guys published there recommendations and photos on transbucket and other websites about Thai surgeons. But I guess most FTMs that have surgery in Thailand are Asian and maybe don't use the same websites for language reasons. If this is the case I would strongly recommend/wish that there was a more internationally accessible and central surgery website.. where we could share photos and reviews. Until that happens I guess it will always be easier to choose western surgeon if you are a westerner, its just more expensive than Thailand.

    If I was to do this again, I don't know what I'd do. I guess I may do the same thing I am doing now, coz at the end of the day it is cheaper and that's all I can afford. But If I could afford 6 thousand pounds for surgery I would probably go to the US or go with Lena Anderson in the UK, as even though you often need revisions with her, the revisions are included in the price of the original cost. Which might save you money in the end. This isn't the case with Thai surgeons, revisions seem to cost the same as the original cost again, so if I had to have revisions it would cost twice as much, which would bump it up to about 6 grand (inc flights) anyway, so it wouldn't of made a difference.

    So all in all. Its a good deal in Thailand. But do you know what your getting?
    I would definitely recommend it if you are VERY small chested and skinny. The results I've seen for this body type are great! but there are NO sample photos for any other body type.

    These following reviews are based on my interactions with the surgeons and photos I have seen. But I have seen very little photos from any of them and have not had surgery with anyone. So I could be wrong about them. I will tell you more about one of the surgeons after I have had surgery.

    • Yanhee hospital is probably the cheapest. Dr Sukit or Dr Vitawat. But only if your small chested.
    • Dr Pichet, is good too, not great at english. He provides photos. He does good double incision and peri-areola. But a bit more expensive than  Yanhee, still cheap. Good testimonials.
    • Dr Preecha, I'm not sure. Very bad at communication. Bad pictures. More expensive still. He is famous for being a really good surgeon, perhaps the best for SRS..but I really haven't seen any evidence of this.
    •  Dr Chettawut - Good communicator. More expensive. Reccomends peri and keyhole for most patients unless very large. This is either a good thing or a very bad thing. I cannot decide.
    •  Dr Kamol. Quick reponse. Good communicater. BAD PHOTOS.


    (no subject)

    Ok so what is Art? what is the point in it and why do I do it?
    Art is in itself is a word which is elitist.. implying something is an artform holds it higher than a mundane function or activity, it is a mystifying word, like 'genius', it makes it seem like something only certain people can do. Art is something which can be almost anything as long as somebody says that it is 'art'..and as long as that person has enough status, and so therefore respect, to make people believe them, then it becomes 'art'. These concepts re-enforce ideas of authorship, ownership, property and also hierarchy which I fundamentally disagreewith. Ok so why do I make 'art'
    ...because it makes me feel better, because it externalises the internal.. because it excercises my ego, because other people think I'm cooler, because if I don't..I go insane! because I think humans have big brains and so they need to do stuff which challenges them. I think art can challenge other people. I think sometimes art can makes people think in a different way. But ultimately I think it does aid more alienation between people.

    "visual images now mediate experience so completely that the visual image in itself has become an instrument of alienation" - POETIC MATERIALISM AS PRACTICAL REVOLUTION

    So what other ways can I stop myself going mad.. challange myself, other people.. without aiding alienation, without living life through images..

    Recently I have had so many invitations for projects.. all over the shop.. I have to be carefull not to be consumed and remember what I want to do.

    I want to live my life.. not my art. I want to make things happen that I want to happen. I want people to learn from me. I want to learn. I don't wanna conform. I wanna break the rules. I want to do what I desire, not just express my desire through images.